I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE COULD BE SO FORGIVING TO ME!! AFTER ALL MY IDIOTIC ANTICS FOR ATTENTION FROM SW!! WHAT THE HELL AM I? WHY AM I SO VILE? I HATE MYSELF STILL, AND THAT'S NO GOOD. I WAS DIRECTED TO LISTEN TO THE FINAL CUT BY SOMEONE ON THE PT FORUM, I THINK IT WAS A FEMALE, AND I STRONGLY SUSPECTED IT WAS SW'S GIRLFRIEND INTERVENING, IN A COMPASSIONATE WAY. WHY CAN'T I JUST MOVE ON FROM THIS? WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK? WHY CAN'T I JUST BE? WHY CAN'T I JUST FEEL ALIVE FOR ONCE, WITHOUT ALL THE SELF-HURTING (I CONSTANTLY PICK AT MY SKIN AND MAKE MYSELF BLEED). BUT WHAT THE HELL? HOW ON EARTH CAN I LOVE HIM OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER RIGHT NOW? WHEN I'M SO FULL OF VILE ANGRY MATTER THAT IS SO STUCK INSIDE ME. HE WAS ALMOST THERE, SO WE HUNG UP AFTER SAYING I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER. HE STILL WAS UPSET, BUT HE CALMED DOWN SOME. HE LEFT ANGRY SO I CALLED HIM ON THE CELL AND PLEADED WITH HIM, APOLOGISING OVER AND OVER, TELLING HIM I'M JUST IN SO MUCH PAIN AND GET OVERWHELMED BY HIS FAMILY. HE FEELS I'M NEVER THERE FOR HIM WHEN HE GOES OUT, HE SAID I'M NEVER PART OF THE FAMILY, HE CURSED AT ME OVER AND OVER. I STILL CAN'T GET PAST THIS NEEDING TO BE ALONE BECAUSE I'M SO ANGRY AND I JUST WANT TO CRY AND HOWL AND THROW A SPOON HARD AT THE FLOOR LIKE I JUST DID AN HOUR AGO. AND WHEN I'M NOT, I'M IN PAROXYSMS OF SUCH INTENSE EMOTIONAL PAIN, I DON'T WANT ANYONE AROUND ME THEN. I GET OVERWHELMED AT THAT HOUSE, THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE, AND I FEEL LIKE I DON'T EXIST, LIKE I'M NOTHING, LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM. HOW SELFISH OF ME!! IT'S BECAUSE I FELT OVERWHELMED AT THE IDEA. I KNOW I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE!! OBVIOUSLY!! BUT THIS IS WHAT I DO TO MYSELF, ISN'T IT? I PUT MYSELF IN SITUATIONS WHERE I'M BOUND TO SUFFER, BECAUSE UNDERNEATH, I KNEW ALL ALONG HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND, THOUGH I LIKED TO THINK TO MYSELF, 'MAYBE HE'S JUST COVERING UP SO THAT GIRLS WON'T BOTHER HIM." WHAT AN IDIOT I CAN BE!! FOOL!! AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT POSTING THAT TOTALLY DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING SEXUAL FANTASY ON HERE BEFORE.AND TONIGHT W GOT MAD AT ME BECAUSE I FELT UNABLE TO FACE GOING TO HIS FAMILY'S HOUSE FOR HIS DAD'S 60TH B-DAY SURPRISE PARTY. NOW I HAVE TO CONFESS, I AM FEELING MIGHTILY JEALOUS WITH ALL THIS POSTING ON THE PT FORUM ABOUT STEVEN'S GIRLFRIEND. NO WONDER I HAD THIS FEELING YOU WERE THERE. THERE'S TOO MANY WORDS ONLY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN. MARGARET - YOU ARE HERE! WELL, NOW I'VE VERY EMBARRASSED IF YOU ARE INDEED HERE. I KNEW IT ALL ALONG, OR AT LEAST SUSPECTED IT. Nobody in all the part in the short circuit of the word has died. The birds hadīeen to him project with shimmering the beauty and during the moment Gelatinous bucket of fahrvergn_gen ignited with the sun. Give more inoperative women, if it were not for the birds. Which was in the constant contact with the fresh vehicle. They had had a special direction to inform with people Its music the condemned andĬaused east year registers to secretaries of the especiero with many The group that regulated the devices you, of that if he were directedĮqual they to satisfy to the romanticism. Returns the marcatura like the member of seises, a new photo danéa of Then Billy a small but mighty goat stood on the table and yelled at the top of his voice I think therefore I am to which Margret replyed likes Nurse With Wound but what they didn't count on was the lack of punctuation and Chris' bad spelling so Chris said. I Wandered Through An Ancient Ruin and Found A Nurse With Wound You might have to click reload on this page to see your entryĬlick on chapter 1, 2, 3 or 4 to read the older chapters
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